by Gary Chapman
The premise of this book is not incredibly profound, but simple. The generalization of this book is that there are five 'spoken' love languages, and we each give and receive love in one or two prominent languages. The idea is helpful not only to understand how you receive love and why you may not feel 'loved' even though your man claims to 'love' you, but also to understand how to properly 'love' someone else who receives love in a different way. It doesn't mean that you have to learn to accept love in different ways (which most men will try to convince you of - e.g. 'I'm not good with my feelings, just accept that I can't talk about it'), it's more about learning how to give love in a way that your partner recognizes it. And your partner has to do the same! So here are the languages:
1. Verbal Affirmation
You need to be told frequently how much your partner adores you and loves you. [Insert starstruck face here].
2. Physical Touch
You love to be hugged, cuddled, kissed, etc.
3. Small Acts of Kindness
You feel special when your partner changes your oil, folds the laundry, or cleans the litter box.
4. Gifts
You love receiving gifts, whether they be large or small. To you it's proof that your significant other was thinking of you.
5. Quality Time
You need to spend lots and lots of quality time with your partner to feel loved.
Disclaimer: DO NOT confuse this with 'time.' Time and Quality Time are two different things. Some men... ahem... like you to be right at their side at all times, but it has nothing to do with spending quality time with you. This is common in controlling relationships.
Now that you have the gist of it, go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ to learn your language!
No comments:
Post a Comment