Life in the FAST lane!!!!

Wusssssup bitches!!! Ya how lame of me to start out my official blog (that I've been fantasizing about for quite some time now) with a cheesy pick up line like the one that's probably been used on you at the bar. What's that you say? You don't frequent bars? You'll never find a good man in a bar? hmmmm....where the hell do you find one than? The internet, hookup through mutual friends, wedding? Funeral? Organic foods section of the grocery store? The hardware store? Ya, well let me just tell ya that the concept of the meet and greet or the proverbial "meet market" is not lost on me. I'm in my thirties now and have been a single mom since my twenties. I am full figured, loud-mouthed and often times quite unladylike. All of my extra milkshakes don't bring the boys to the yard, and most of the men I've met are terrified of a blunt, in your face woman calling them on their shit. So they usually back peddle and counter attack, and blame, and basically mind fuck you until you're forced to believe that it must be you. Well ya, in some ways it is, and that's fine but come on, he has flaws too and we are so unwilling to hurt our feelings or break his poor little heart that we end up breaking our own. Well I've lived that life and I've lived the lie and I am tired of faking it! We are so used to faking it, and I don't mean just with our orgasms. Why do we try and make everything okay all the time? No one is 100 %, 100% of the time! We are not Wonder Woman (love ya Linda Carter), or my other personal fav, She-ra, the warrior princess. We are not armed with an invisible plane, a golden lasso, a horse, sheild and a sword. We are gonna fall down and get hurt and have to dust ourselves off and pick up the peices and move on from there. That doesn't mean we have to do it alone. This blog is the brain child of my left brained friend who is witty and fun and amazing and myself who joined forces a little over a year ago when we met at a New Years Eve Party. She and I have spent sleepless nights, countless tears, and endless hours texting and talking about our relationships and why we do what we do. Why the men do what they do to us. Why we go crazy and insane with guilt, anger and than strait to cold heartless bitches! Here's the thing, why be nice when a man beats you up physically, emotionally, and continually dissapoints you?! Well I am here to tell you that DAMMIT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE!!!! Putting yourself first is a fairly new concept to us women folk. We run from sun up to sun down and in my profession, through the night to make sure everything runs smoothly for everyone. I have found that this is a gift I have. My greatest strength---my ability to take care of others is also my greatest weakness. I am an awful boundary setter. I am horrible at not letting people take advantage of me, especially those y chromosome types. But seriously get a grip, this blog is not about me, well not entirely. I want to help you learn from the perils of my crazy one of a kind stories so that you can laugh your ass off! I want you to feel better about your own situation, relate to, laugh and sometimes cry with me! I want to empower you to get out and stay out and away from the men that treat you like a cum dumpster or punching bag. You are amazing! Shut up! Stop it! Don't tell me that you're not! I know you are! Yeah I'm talking to you super mom with a baby on your hip, cell phone on your shoulder, toddler wrapped around your legs studying for finals while reading this blog! I'm talking to you girl with a gorgeous mind whose artistic and mindful of others, blaring rock music with the windows down, not taking one minute for granted, yet living in fear of what might happen next with your boyfriend. What if you break up? GASP! It's not the worst thing ladies! My personal mantra is "It is better to be single than in the wrong relationship." I've learned this of course by dating all the wrong men and having all the wrong relationships all the time! But I am hoping you don't have to make the same mistakes I have, and that we can learn from each other. It's not raining good, decent, available men out there, but a few of them DO exist and are worth waiting for! If we could all afford to drive a mustang we would right? And if we all did it wouldn't be that exciting to own one anymore. Well take it for what it's worth. The red mustang convertible is out there! So don't settle for one that needs lots of repairs, is on it's way to the junk yard, is currently in the shop, or that someone else has the keys too! You deserve your own shiny, candle apple red mustang convertible! You are worth it! Put on your high heels and hold your head high because no one deserves to make you feel less than adequate when the truth is you have a life of growth, friendship and incredible enrichment out there! So get on board with this plan and tune out the negative nancy's in your head! It's time to blare the rock music and fly down the freeway!