I have pet peeves. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't feel she has to wait around for anyone, I don't feel like I have to take anyone's bullshit. My biggest 'man pet peeve' is the Inferiority Complex. Damn, I hate the inferiority complex. I had a guy - a friend from school - tell me once that his wife wanted to get into a cosmetology program. No, wait, picture Kristen Wigg on the airplane in Bridesmaids. In Kristen's whiny voice, this guy said, "She wants to go into cosmetology," then proceeded to roll his eyes. He continued, "I want a girl who has the potential to make some money." Disgusted, I said, "Make some money, huh? I had no idea you were so shallow." He replied, "Oh, well not so much money that she makes me feel inferior, but you know, enough to pay some bills and stuff."
Then there was the ex who would whine, "Jeeeennnnnn, don't clean the hooooouuuuse, you're making me feel laaaaaazzzzzy. Caaaann't you do that later?" (By 'later,' he meant when he was at work or asleep so he didn't have to feel so bad about himself for not helping out). Or when I took the initiative to start a study group so that I could pass calculus II, he accused me of cheating on him (with my study group), rather than be proud of his other half for her determination to pass a really hard class. I could tell you thousands of stories about this one. His inferiority held me back in so many ways, and I let it happen. What was wrong with me? Oh, that's right - I had no self esteem. I listened to the negativity from him and his religious affiliates, I believed that I had to study in secret, that I had no place doing anything above and beyond my significant other's ability or will. Then one day I decided it was BULL SHIT and he could fly the coop, and he did. The end.
Well here's the scoop: We don't have to bow down and tippy toe around any man's ego. You don't have to be less so that he can be more. We don't have to mask our greatness so he can shine! I encourage you, ladies, to be what you can. Achieve what you want and be amazing! Whether you work outside the home, you're a stay-at-home mom, you're a college grad, or you haven't even started yet, always believe that you can be as great as you choose to be. The only permission required to be amazing is YOURS! Let yourself shine! Love yourself, be proud of who you are and what you accomplish, and be who you want to be!
Someday, you'll find a guy who has the nuts to be with you. A guy who can handle being with you. My personal mantra is this: I need a guy with bigger nuts than mine. I need someone who can allow me to feel like the woman in the relationship, while letting me be the go-getter that I am. You need a guy who respects your greatness, who values your amazing qualities, who not only supports you, but pushes you to be great. I am so proud of my sister, who graduated with honors in accounting this week. She is the mother of two very small children, step mom to two teenage boys, and wife to a supportive, hard-working husband. She made it, and so can we! I feel a new surge of motivation to get through school, to get better grades, and to tell myself that I can be as great as I choose to be. :)
"bigger nuts than mine" yes!
ReplyDelete